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COMEDY LAND's "The Simpsons Meet O.J." PART 1
At last, you'll finally find out who the real murderer is in the Crime Of The Century! Is it the jealous, confessed wife-beater, football all-star or the fictional, cartoon family? You decide.
Go To Part 2


Kent Brockman, Springfield's favorite, and apparently, only anchorman is seated next to O.J. Simpson.

KENT: Mr. Simpson is here because he has a new videotape containing evidence proving his innocence in the murders of his ex-wife Nicole Simpson and Ron Goldman.

O.J.: That's right. Play the tape.


O.J. is seen knocking on the door. When no one answers, O.J. starts pounding on the door as if it was a wife or a girlfriend.

O.J.: (Yelling) How dare you embarrass me on TV! Open the f---ing door! Now! (Turns towards the camera smiling) As you can see, they've got something to hide.

The door opens cautiously. A nervous Marge Simpson is seen through the gap.

MARGE: What do you want?


O.J.: (Pushes the door wide and barges in) Someone in this house is the real murderer and I'm gonna prove it. You're a housewife, right?


O.J.: Housewives work with knives. Maybe you're the killer! (Points his finger accusingly at Marge)

MARGE: Oh, my.

O.J. storms into the kitchen and is shocked by what he sees.

O.J.: Oh, my Lord! This whole place is filled with knives! Look, a refrigerator filled with chopped meat! Chopped, dead meat! This ain't a house, it's a torture chamber!

O.J. puts a dainty hand to his forehead and wiggles around like he's about to faint. Instantly, his vitality returns as he picks up a knife off a cutting board with child-like glee.

O.J.: This is nice. Can I keep it?


O.J.: (Enraged and yelling) Why don't you want me to have it? Is this the murder weapon? Is it?

Marge stares at him with her mouth gaping open, confused.

O.J.: Answer me, woman! Don't you dare dis me on TV!

O.J. raises the knife above his head, his arm tensed to strike. An evil glint flashes off his twitching eyes. He lowers it into a clear, plastic evidence bag.

O.J.: I bet there's DNA all over that knife. Simpson DNA. That's you. My name isn't Simpson. It's Kabuba, like my African ancestors. That's not "my" DNA. (Turns towards the camera) Do you see any letters of the alphabet on me? No. My clothes don't even have labels on them. I cut them off. I cut them off with a BIG knife.

MARGE: (Defiantly) I am not a murderer. My only crime is taking care of my family. And that's not a crime. So there.

O.J.: Ah haaa! So you're protecting someone in your family. I'll find out who's the "real" murderer. I'll find out even if it kills me... or my other ex-wife. 

Go To Part 2
Bart Simpson!

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